OOPS...

What is fmylife.com? A site for losers after everybody's sympathy or a site for everybody to laugh at their misfortune?

Tragic:

• Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a "keeper", at which she laughed and said we were "just friends". I was going to propose to her next week. FML
  
  
• Today, I went to my boyfriend’s work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, “Just this fat chick I know”. FML
  
  
• Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML
  
  
• Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
  
  
• Today, I got this HUGE package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML
  
  
• Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
  
  
• Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML
  
  
• Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
  
  
• Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML
  
  
• Today, when I arrived at school, one of my friends referred me to this site. He said I'd be perfect for it. FML
  
  
• Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML
  
  
• Today, I took a picture for my photography course of a random adorable couple kissing in the snow. Later, upon closer inspection, I realized that the guy was my boyfriend. FML
  
  
• Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
  
  
• Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
  

• Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML
  

• Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

• Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night. I was still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out she opens her eyes and says "Oh, it's you." Then gets up and walks out. FML.

• Today, I wore a cute new stripped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML

• Today, I finally reunited with a lot of old friends from school. It was great to see everyone grown up and hear the stories. At the end we decided to have a group photo for old times sake. They asked me to take the picture. FML
  

You can spend hours on this thing!