Good Vibrations

 

 "Lomo Lomo" for iPhone4

This is attempt #___ to start blogging again.  Thank you, Belinda, for giving me some inspiration to write a new entry at 2am.  Belinda is a new friend who found me interesting enough to interview for her series on people who are "working towards their dream jobs".  You can read the interview here.

The conversation with Belinda brought many things into perspective for me, the interviewee.  Often, I don't ask myself why I like doing what I like to do or why I do what I do.  It is usually understood and hence, not worthy of discussion.  It isn't until somebody asks me the questions that I realize my dreams/desires are not as trivial as I would have otherwise perceived.  And so, I reflected about my affinity for playing music...

Playing music to large audiences has been a dream since high school.  The pep rallies and talent shows were great fun, and as a teenager searching for security in what would bring me recognition beyond academic achievement and a friendly disposition, I would dream of musical success.  At 17, it was reasonable to dream about the music videos I would create or the sold-out shows I would perform in stadiums across the world.  Fame, money, fortune.

Now almost at 23, these aspects of the dream are no longer appealing but the drive to play music is greater than it has ever been.  I believe this is so because I recognize that I'm going through a process of refinement dictated by the "heart" I have gradually come to put into my music.  If you cannot feel your own music, don't expect your audience to.  When I play music, I want people to listen.  I want to make music that people will remember--music that I cannot fake.  If a musical career is in the works, I intend to safeguard this sincerity so that my songs will not become depersonalized in the context.  There is still so much to discover about how aspects of my self and my musical ability can culminate into something beautiful, but for now, I'm happy knowing that I'm blessed to be entrusted with this gift of song and that I'm equally blessed to be able to enjoy it.